The Sum of Me

Feb 12, 2022 | Self-Awareness

Well, it’s been a minute… I haven’t posted for some time. Like so many others I have been in a bit of a cocoon. I’ve been healing and reimagining everything from my body to my relationships to my business and it has been a journey!!

At some point I came across this photo of three-year-old me (cutie-pie, right?!).  When I see her I see a little girl standing (or in this case riding) at the intersection of so many identities and values.  Her nicely pressed dress made her feel beautiful, her gym shoes made her feel strong and capable, her bracelets connected her to the traditions of her family in India, and her car helped her move around the world (or apartment) and feel adventurous.  

Throughout my life I’ve often felt stuck or torn between these different ways of relating to myself and the world around me.  If I leaned too far into one identity I was sometimes met with disappointment or confusion by others.  I was told I was too “American” or too “Indian” or too “adventurous/risky” or too…well you get the idea.  When I was (and let’s be real, sometimes still am) deeply entrenched in my stuckness I would sometimes feel like I was not enough and was an imposter – never quite enough of any one thing.

Over the years, through a lot of inner work in my meditation practice as well as with the support of therapists and coaches, I have learned to befriend and value the sum of all of my identities.  Not one of them defines me and all of them are a part of me.  I also have learned to allow those identities to flow in and out of my life as I and the world around me evolve.  Of course, this is a lifelong process and practice…every day and every moment an opportunity to begin again and recommit to loving that sweet, full of possibility three-year-old (and today-year-old) me!

My go-to practices to reconnect with the core of who I am are:

  • Loving kindness meditation practiceMay I be happy, May I be healthy, May I cherish and honor three-year-old me

  • Journaling – just me and a good old-fashioned notebook and pen

  • Movement practices – lots of dancing and yoga 

  • Fresh air – Camping and Hiking with my husband; walks in nature with my sweet pup, Coco

  • Play – Playing games with family and friends (Splendor has been a recent favorite board game!)

With joy and love,